Wrestling Mom 101

Your child has come home with an informational flyer and they want to wrestle.  Unless you are from a wrestling family, this may seem scary. My husband was from a baseball family and never in a million years did we think our sons would wrestle.  I have put together a list of basics, common questions moms and dads ask us and some tips just to get your first wrestling season of to a vibrant start.

  1.  Wrestling is life changing.  It is the single best thing my kids have ever done, ever.  That’s loaded!  I could put this at the bottom but just in case you don’t scroll through everything I want you to know with all my heart I will forever encourage any parent to make this happen for their kid if they show any interest at all.  A quick google search will give you tons of heart felt testimonies to this sport and how it has molded children into good, responsible human beings.  I’m sure at some point I will write one of those myself.  Ask me, I’m not afraid to say more.
  2. Wrestling is not fighting.  I wish someone would have told me this in the beginning because I would have been less panicked.  Wrestling is a battle of skill.  Most, no not all and that part is hard, most opponents are there for a competition of skills, you do not need to feel like you are putting your baby in the octagon. Injury speaking, it is a fairly low injury sport and your child will learn more and more advanced skills as time goes on.
  3. Wrestling is a community.  You will spend hours and days and months with these other families.  You will eat together, pray together, share hotel rooms and car rides.  By the end of the season you will be matside not just for your kid but for every kid on the team.  Their victories are your victories and their losses are your losses.  This continues well past wrestling season.
  4. Your child will learn character:  Responsibility, Trust, how to encourage others, Dedication, Teamwork, Grace, Humility, Courage, Self-Control, Gratitude, Pride, Sacrifice, Comradery, and Triumph.  I chose the words carefully and I mean them to the depths of their definitions.   I am not kidding when I say this sport is like no other.
  5. Wrestling gear: Head gear to protect those ears (cauliflower ear is not pretty), singlet or in more recent years shorts/shirt, wrestling shoes, mouth guard, maybe a knee pad, sweatpants/sweatshirt, Antibacterial soap. Yes that’s about it.  I recommend an extra set of head gear and spare set of shoes in the car.  I cannot tell you how many parents have driven an hour plus to get to a tournament and someone has no shoes or headgear.
  6. Soap is our friend.  Hygiene is important in this sport.  Skin infections can occur due to close physical contact. Skin checks are done prior to any matches/tournaments by the event staff. No open wounds, rashes, long nails, etc.
  7. Pack your mom bag, snacks, water bottle, camera, scissors? Oh my.  You will learn what your wrestler needs in this suitcase and I will provide another post dedicated to this, but your mom light really gets to shine when your child chooses this sport.  Bring it on momma! https://whiskeythrottlefarm417.com/whats-in-your-wrestling-mom-bag/
  8. At first you will be lost and you will be bored.  You will not know what that ref is doing with his hands, all the circling and yelling and hand gestures.  You will not know what is green or what is red or why that other mom is on her knees in the aisle literally screaming something about getting 2, but you will learn, and you will be hooked just like the rest of us.  Ask other parents questions, we like to think we are experts.
  9. Be prepared for tears and be ready to be supportive.  There will come a time that you are comforting your child underneath the bleachers and you may be sobbing just as hard as they are.  It’s part of it; it needs to happen. A devastating loss makes the hand raise at the end of another match all that much sweeter.
  10. Enjoy it. Enjoy the process.  Enjoy learning new things, being with your kid and their friends.  Mark Saturdays off your calendar for the winter. Dust off your crockpot, put on your glittery wrestling mom shirt.  Bring your blankie and your phone charger and just enjoy it because eventually there is a last match and you will miss it when it’s over.  

Congratulations!  Your kiddo wants to wrestle.  Let it happen momma, support it.  Maybe it won’t be their thing in the long run, but I encourage you to let them give it a try.  My one regret with my oldest is that I did not let him start sooner.  

22 thoughts on “Wrestling Mom 101”

  1. Bobbi, you really hit the nail on the head with this article. It is without a doubt the truth. I enjoyed reading it. I only wish I could have read it before Raymond started Wrestling. Reading this brought back so many wonderful memories. I miss Wrestling season and spending time with the Wrestling family.

    1. Couldnt agree more. My daughter wrestles and fell in love with the sport at 9. She is 14 and a freshman and still itching for the next match. The whole team knows if you need water, food, a ride home, or a smile find me. I was terrified at first and still flinch once in a while, but I love the determination and confidence she has!!

    2. Manny and Lily Elizondo

      Oh my, this post brought tears to my eyes. Yes, years and years of this sport has made my son the young man he is now. Red shirt freshman for the one and only Oklahoma State University with the God of God’s in the Wrestling world Mr. John Smith!! My husband and I knew nothing of the Wrestling Sport, until a friend of ours who was from up north came up with the idea to have a wrestling club in Texas. Dad quickly read a wrestling book 101 Wrestling for dad’s sort of book and we threw our son into a wrestling match. LOL ! My son lost and lost and said, “You don’t understand wrestling is hard” and we took him back to practice. My son very rarely lost after that. We were blessed to be introduced to a successful coach and quickly he learned the skill of this brutal but rewarding sport. Now 10 years later I look back and I am grateful that we never gave up on the life skills the sport gave my son. Yes, I have a ton of glittery shirts except now they say OSU WRESTLING ❤️.

    3. Nailed it! You’ve put into print what I have told countless parents over the years. The wins, the losses, the pain and the heartache have all shaped my boys into outstanding young men who have both served their country in the Marine Corps after high school. Boot camp was a breeze for them because of wrestling. It wasn’t just the physical conditioning but a combination of the physical and mental that taught them they can do anything. The bond of a wrestling team is the one thing you didn’t mention in this article. Both of my sons still remain friends with their teammates. Oh the photos of teammates lying on the mats with heads on legs of another teammate waiting for tournaments to start still brings tears to my eyes. It is a family, one much closer then the baseball or football families we were a part of. Do your kids a favor and give it a whirl. There were those times when they didn’t want to wrestle, didn’t want to go to practice when a new video game came out. We didn’t let them quit as our rule was “Once you start something you have to finish it”. They were always thanking us for making sure they never gave up. We have found that employers are aware that hiring a kid who wrestled is a big plus, these kids know who to push through and make things happen. My MoM saying when my sons or my wrestling boys on the team when they would lose, “it wasn’t a loss it was a learn”. They learn about themselves on those mats at every tournament or dual they attend. I could go on forever about what wrestling did for our family. Thank you for writing about this!

    4. I’m a proud Father of a wrestler and I’m here to tell any parent that may be concerned/skeptical. I too was one because I played football and baseball and in my era it definitely wasn’t that popular. I decided to let my son go ahead and start wrestling in the 1st Grade and almost instantly my son and I was hooked. It’s all about your child and the one standing on the mat with (he/she). And how rewarding it can be to see how hard they practiced all season for that 3 periods to become the Victor! It teaches discipline, integrity, how rewarding hard work, commitment, respect, all these aspects in life for them to succeed in life. The bond between parent and child on those weekend tournaments and the time you get to spend with them and at the end of the day it doesn’t matter (too much lol) whether they win or lose just as long they never give up and give it everything they got, if they get knocked down and lose a match. That to never give up in life no matter what! Cause that’s what life’s all about. I’m proud to be the Father of a wrestler!

    5. Our Wrestling coaches saw this, loved it! and asked me to include in the Parent Night Info Booklet. Would this be ok?

  2. I’ve been involved with this port for nearly two decades now. My only correction to make on this post is the part about anti-bacterial soap. It’s a common misconception that wrestlers should use antibacterial soap to help fight off skin disease. It was not until I was hospitalized with MRSA that I learned about that misconception for myself. Anti-bacterial products SHOULD be used to sanitize mats and other non-organic surfaces associated with the sport. For the human body, however you should use soap that is NOT anti-bacterial. The reason for that is you have “good” bacteria on your body that naturally compete with harmful bacteria. Anti-bacterial products do not discriminate. When you kill all/most bacteria then expose yourself to more harmful bacteria than usual, you are putting the “good” bacteria at a disadvantage. That’s the simplistic way I can explain it, and I encourage you to research it for yourself if you’re skeptical. The lesson is simple:
    Shower immediately after practice (it’s okay to wait until you get home, since some locker rooms are so unsanitary it’s not worth it), scrub thoroughly, and use natural soap products.

    1. I officiated wrestling for 27 years at the high school and age group levels. I watched two generations grow up in this sport and then got to officiate some of their kids. I have four sons who wrestled through age group programs and high school. Best experience of my life! I wanted to see all of them win. I wanted to do my best for them as an official. It is the BEST family in the world to be a part of and I loved all of it. Well written and great advice. I still miss all of those people. Even the “difficult” ones. They supported me through some tough times and I still consider them family.

  3. Thanks for your supportive article. My son-in-law is a High School Wrestling Coach. Some years ago when his oldest daughter was about 4 or 5 years old she complained that her Dad was gone so much for wrestling tournaments and I sat her down and told her I know it is hard for you to have him away so much, AND I want you to know how much he helps these young men become responsible adults. Then she felt better about it.

  4. Love this. I have two boys that wrestle and play football. There is no other sport or community like wrestling. The lessons learned make these kids into better adults. Thanks for the great read!

  5. Great post! My daughter joined her high school team last year and this all rings very true. I was terrified at the thought of letting my little girl (not actually little as she is in high school, but little in my eyes) wrestle with high school boys and girls. Thankfully NJ has a girls state competition but the season is co-ed. I had no idea what was happening at the meets, still don’t but I’m learning. I tell everyone I know what a great sport wrestling is and what wonders it has done for my girl. Good luck on your upcoming scholastic season!

  6. Words well spoken, thoughts only a Mom could share.
    Ladies wrestling is a MATRIARCHAL SPORT. You as Moms, Girlfriends, and Wives contribute more to the developmental of a wrestler or coach than any other single person. Never forget that.

  7. This sport taught my boys more about life and what comes next, than any thing else. You win and the next time you lose, all are good! You develop a signature move, and sometimes you have an injury that moves beyond the season. I love to watch it, I love to yell at the refs, I love everything about this sport. My wrestlers are now coaches teaching the next generations of boys and GIRLS.

  8. “why that other mom is on her knees in the aisle literally screaming something about getting 2”

    8b) don’t be this parent. sit in the stands, politely, enjoy, and cheer when appropriate. let the coaches coach. let the refs ref. when your child selects this sport, it’s time for you to cut the umbilical cord.

  9. Don’t forget that as a mom, you are also in charge of helping your child eat in a healthy manner to make weight.

  10. This is about as perfect as it gets. I remember being worried when my son said he wanted to wrestle. I knew less than nothing about the sport. I went to talk to his coach before giving the okay and I’ll be forever grateful that I did. I have the most wonderful memories that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I baked dozens and dozens of chocolate chip cookies for the after-weigh in crowd; helped with the boosters and watched my son go from counting ceiling tiles to being the Class champ to placing at States to coaching. Now he coaches his daughter on her high school team.
    For all that it can and does teach, there is no other sport like it.

  11. So well said! I have tried and tried to convince people to put their children in wrestling. It is such a wonderful wonderful sport. My boys are grown now with littles of their own. I cannot wait for my grandsons to wrestle.

  12. Bobbi, this spoke so much to me. My son is 12 and he brought home wrestling papers and I was scared, excited, and supportive but this blog has really put a lot into perspective. Thank you so much! He has never wrestled a day in his life and actually last night had his first meet after only 6 practices, and he did fantastic! While he did not win, he got there time and time again and kept going! I was wondering if you could please post that blog about things the Wrestling moms need to carry and then anything else that you could offer me, I would appreciate it! We are in this for the long haul and I could really use the help and guidance. Also, any other parents reading this, please feel free to email me as well, we are all a family right :).

    scombes0813@gmail.com

  13. A Wrestler’s Dad

    Many years ago a young boy came home, handing his dad an athletic consent form. The dad asked the boy what sport he wanted to play. The boy replied he wanted to be “a wrestler”. The dad looked down at the boy, he could not weigh 100 pounds, his shoulders, waist and chest were a straight line. A wrestler, the dad thought, why not, this will not last long. The boy also said he needed “wrestling shoes”, the dad wondered why his regular tennis shoes would not work, after all this was not going to be a long term commitment.

    Soon it was time for the first meet. The boy was not on the “regular” team, he was a “back up”. But the dad went to watch. After the team wrestled the dad observed the boy talking to the coach and glancing nervously into the stands. The boy wanted the chance to be seen wrestling. The coach relented and let him wrestle an “exhibition” match. So it was, meet after meet.

    Then one meet the boy ran up to the dad saying the regular wrestler in his weight was sick, and he would wrestle “varsity” (middle school that is). As the weight classes were called the dad began to feel a churning in his stomach, and his hands began to sweat. When it was his son’s time, the dad pulled to the edge of his seat. The boy walked to the center of the mat. The boy’s singlet hung on him, two sizes too large, and his ill ease was obvious from his face. The referee blew the whistle and dropped his hand, the two would be grapplers lunged at each other. The referee signaled points which the dad did not understand, but for the score board. The match ended and by some miracle the boy won, and as his hand was raised he looked up at the dad and beamed to say “see I can do this”. The dad beamed too.

    The meets went by and the boy reverted to wrestling exhibitions, including wrestling his own team mates. Anything to be on the mat and let his dad know “I can do this”.

    High School came and the boy’s persistence waned. He lost far more matches than he won. The coach called to say the boy wanted to quit. The coach offered great advice saying, he had seen many wrestlers quit who later told him they regretted the decision. He had never had a wrestler quit who later said it was the right decision. The boy listened, and decided to stay. The 9th grade team was the best he could do, junior varsity was too hard and anything beyond that impossible.

    The season ended and the boy decided to join “freestyle”. So the dad became the driver, and every weekend, from one end of the state to the other, the dad took the boy and his buddies to meets. The boy had no idea how to score, and the dad sure didn’t. The boy kept losing. Then something happened. The last meet of freestyle season it all seemed to come together. The boy won match after match, finishing second and getting a medal. The boy could hardly get his head through the door, had the dad not gone first.

    Ninth grade passed to tenth, and one day the boy came home ready to explode- he had made the varsity team. No longer did he have to wear the plain singlet, he had one with the school’s name and logo on it. The dad was very proud.

    The boy and his dad went through the next 3 years spending every Saturday from November to April at school meets or freestyle. The dad became a wrestling junkie, he had to be at every meet and watch every match. Before the boy could drive, the dad was up at 6:00 a.m. each morning to get him to weight lifting and packing his lunch of bananas and tuna to control weight. On nights before meets the boy slept well, the dad did not.

    Effort was rewarded. The boy did well, better than the coach or dad ever imagined. The boy’s room was filled with bracket boards, trophies, medals, ribbons and plaques. The boy became the veteran, with the younger wrestlers asking his advice and wanting his coaching. He earned a letter jacket that was his proudest possession.

    Then came the day the dad had long dreaded. The senior year, the final meet, the last match. Wrestling, and this wrestler, had become the dad’s main interest, a passion. The dad did not want it to end. The dad took his usual place in the stands. As the weight classes were called, that feeling which had followed the dad for 6 years and over hundred’s of matches returned, his stomach began to churn, his hands sweat, and he pulled to the edge of the seat.

    The announcer called the son’s weight, and to the middle of the mat walked a young man. His singlet fit as though it were custom made, his arms, shoulders and neck showed the results of weeks, months and years in the weight room. His ears reflected the rough treatment a wrestler too proud to wear his head gear at practice endures. The faint hint of a fresh shave darkened his face. Where had the boy gone, and how did this happen so quickly. Before the dad could come to terms with what he saw and felt, the whistle blew and the match began. The young man, now skilled at his trade, worked through the take downs, head locks, under hooks and throws. Six minutes later the match ended, the referee raised the hand. The dad stood and cheered. It did not matter which wrestler won, it was the effort, dedication and love of the sport that triumphed. As always, the young man looked up into the stands and with every muscle in his body announced “See I can do this”.

    That night as I walked from the gym I was very sad, but I thought how very lucky I am to be a wrestler’s dad. I also thought, if I continue to be lucky, someday my son will also be a wrestler’s dad and we get to do it all again.

    P.S. A few weeks later the young man announced he was going to continue wrestling , in college. The son had goals to achieve, and he loved the time on the mat and with his brother wrestlers- it made him feel alive. So the dad got four more years of wrestling, this time travels were further, the meets more intense, but the familiar churning of the stomach, sweating of the hands and pulling forward-now at the edge of the mat- continued.

    Somewhere along the way the dad realized the journey was not about wins or loses, it was about the bond wrestling creates between the dad, the son, the fellow wrestlers and their parents. All become very close, very much a family. Each match was a gift of time, together. Yes, there was another dreaded senior year, last meet and final match. But this time the young man walked across the mat, wrapped his arms around his dad, hugged as only a wrestler can, and said “thanks dad for being with me all these years”. They both cried, wrestlers and their dads do cry. And, as for wrestling shoes, the dad has a trunk full of them, each carefully saved and holding the best memories of a bond so close and a life well spent.

    The son now has his own sons who are pewee wrestlers, but each has wrestling shoe, singlets that mimic their dad’s college singlet and a wrestling mat in basement. The journey continues.

    1. Thank you for your story! Made me cry. Looking forward to the days of being a wrestling grandparent. I can only imagine how that will feel!

    2. I love this story too! Made me cry! I have such a soft spot in my heart for my kids and their friends and their wins and their losses are felt too.

      Thanks for this story! Absolute great read!

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